It is holiday!! Tuesday now, meaning it has been 2 days of holiday? And I have done nothing but do work. Fed upp!!! Zzzz. I know it is term break ( I am told that it is a Term Break-.-). But break must have some fun too right? I know A level is important. But find me someone who can study 24/7 w/o having the need to have some relaxation. If you can, that is not someone, it is something. Cause it is a god damn robot-.-
Since young, I have always been studying on my own. I know my priority and I will study when I want to. And of course, it is the most efficient time period when I do it. However, I am feeling more like being MADE to study now. I know your intention. You don't want our studies to be jeopardized. However, if a lion is not hungry, no matter how you force it to eat the meat, it won't. In fact, it will bounce back and bite you. Hard. Nobody wants that right? We are friendly people with good intentions. So stop forcing me for goodness sake. Trust me, I will do better when the ball is in my hands. It has always been like that on court. It will be likewise in my LIFE.
Breathe in breathe out. I am hyperventilating. The misses are suffocating me. Your absence is like a lack of oxygen. I think I am adapting to the lack of air. But a freshly air-ed environment is better I suppose? haiz.
I must get A for my math block test tmr. I must.
~ { 10:52 PM } I Love You morethanIcansay;
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Loner. Lover. Loser. All starts with a L. All happening in my. Life.
L L L L. I never realized this before I typed this post. But there are so many Ls in my life. Lol. Even the most funamental and major one, Life, starts with a L. Jeez. You will know even better what I am getting at if you have a greater understanding of me. If. Haha.
Sunday today, Holiday is here! HAPPY=D There are ppl who are unhappy. I don't get it. There are indeed many works to do, but then at least we don't have to wake up earlier in the morning to go school what. Isn't being able to sleep longer a super blessed thing? Haha. So although there are many things to be done, I think with some planning, everything can go properly=)
Not criticizing religion or whatever, but when I went to my sister's Baptism session, I really admire the kind of faithfulness the Christians have towards their religion. I think it is the difference in the cultures within each religions, so it varies from one religion to another. I am not doubting the faithfulness of other religions, I believe they have their own ways of respecting their religions too, like praying and etc. So I just realized it is really very impressive to see how ppl can be so faithful to their religions. I think it is just a matter of perspectives, so I won't dare to comment much either. I scared kena catch by police. HAHA! But yea. I think if you have a belief, it will be fantastic for you to stick to it. If it is the lighthouse in your life that can lead you through the darkest time=) Just that I am wondering where is mine. That's all. Haha.
Setting up a fire and trying to put it out is rather stupid. Haha. "Why you set up in the first place!?" "Why are you trying to put it out!?" "What will happen if it continues to burn!?" blah blah blah. Many many questions. Human are just good at asking questions. But don't you all realized many questions are difficult to answer? Lol. "Why you set up in the first place?!" -> I have no freaking idea. It just combusted and started burning. Stronger and stronger. "Why are you trying to put it out?!" -> I am not actually trying to put it out. I am trying to prevent the fire from growing to too big and that's all. "What will happen if it continues to burn?!" -> It will end up hurting many people, and eventually kills me.
Or maybe I should just let myself be burnt to death? I am getting scorched here and there, now and then. Non-literally, of course. Lol. Yet another long post. Meaning my old posts are going into hiding already. Some are meant to be seen. Are they being looked at? I don't know. I doubt so either. But once I think it goes into the archive, it will no longer be read. Just like some things in Life.
To me, you are just like Oxygen. I am suffocating now.
~ { 1:31 PM } I Love You morethanIcansay;
Friday, March 12, 2010
Sports Meet 2010 has ended. Another major event is over. I am happy=) Haha! Thank you Owens House Council! I love you guys! THANK YOU TAN SHU WEN!=D Haha.
Music really changed one's mood. I was listening to Carry Out by Timbaland and Justin Timberlake 10 mins ago, And I was rather getting hyped up by the pop music. However a few slow songs just got my mood down already. Haha. Thus, I am missing you once again. It has become a habitual thing already i think. Haha.
YAY! There are opportunities now. HOHO! 避雷针!=D "You say hello. Inside I am screaming I love you" Familiar? It is lyrics from Mixtape by Butch Walker. But I bet many of us have this kind of feeling before. Wanna say something but unable to. But sometimes, I think it just takes that sudden impulse and courage to get things rolling. And persevere. Things might eventually get better? Haha. You will never know if you never try. And I obliged to that. Haha. But something are hard to try la I know. Like the fact I dislike durian. I won't BOTHER to try to conquer it again. HAHA! However if something really means very much to you, it will be really stupid to give it up just because you are afraid. I've been through ups and downs. I won't say I am very experienced with life, But I don't think I am very badly informed about it either. It is black in colour! Cause it isn't fair=) To be extreme, view it from the point that you can only live Life once. I don't like to think this way, it makes me feel very restricted. However, it is true. So let's cherish it.
One more month. Just one more month! I shall tahan! Maybe too long never post already, got many things to vent out. Haha I got to know about this song called First Dance by Justin Bieber. Thanks to Samantha Pay! Who is a CSL now(WOW!). HAHAHA. But yea. That song just hits me hard when I first heard it. It is nice. More importantly, it brings back memories too. No idea whether you will see this and rmbr. It feels so dramatic. Finding you in that crazy crowd and eventually having you dancing with me. I don't think I will ever forget that feeling. It is just like filming a show. Haha.
Okay my heart, thought and mind is occupied presently. Who? Haha Don't know what is with me today, I think I am just turning more and more straightforward. Gonna be less naggy. My HC is angry with me for that. HAHA. Okay no name! Privacy is important. Haha.
I am not expecting fairytale, I am just trying to cherish something precious with my bare hands. Satisfaction is always the maximum when you have done something to the best you can. I am just trying my best. That's all.
I kept track of all the dates that I spent with you, Rather foolish but I do. Haha
~ { 8:49 PM } I Love You morethanIcansay;
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
I just don't like my life. Seriously. I mean it and I am very fed up with it.
I hate how I still care when I know you don't really bother. It just makes me feel like an idiot.
Freak it. Just stopped telling me, "Hope things will be better." You are the older and more experienced one, if you are so freaking good, DO IT YOURSELF. FREAK IT.
Now I am feeling abit regretful about not allowing myself to swear in my blog. I am going to burst right now. Having so many expectations to meet yet with so many challenges to overcome. This is Life is it? Then come freak it, I Hate Life.
I have no more platform to vent my frustrated. I am really really really irritated. I am vexed I am stressed, But I still never regret of me liking you. This feeling is just weird. Lol.
