Dark Fairyland.

2012-01-06T22:27:00.003+08:00

Just realized that I am still as difficult to understand.
Still unable to make myself be understood.

Some feelings are just hard to say.
Like....
Tripping a wire may cause a bomb to explode like that.
Lame but, ya.

Sigh.
May I know how to deal with this soon.

2012-01-05T22:53:00.002+08:00

I always believe it is not about "unable to".
It is all in the mindset.
Unless your goal is too far fetched, I don't think it is really very tough to achieve it.

If you really love someone, I believe you will try your best to make your partner feel better.
If not for what get together, right?
Being together is not about constant bickering, arguing, developing negative thoughts.
Life is already difficult, why make your life even more difficult?

Striking a balance is always important in Life.
Anything in excess is bad. Anything.
Yet the balance is hard to gain.

I think it is in human's nature,
To expect certain reciprocal of actions or affections when the same amount is being given out.
Too bad, not everyone is like you, you are not like everyone else.
Your expectation's may be too high for others, while others may think that they have done enough.
Learning how to gain an average out of all these is difficult.
I believe I am still learning.

Going 20 soon.
No longer a teenager.
I really think age is not proportional to maturity.
Proven so when I observed my colleagues in NS.
I need to be more matured too.

Defy myself.

2012-01-02T22:16:00.001+08:00

2012 le!
One more year to ORD!!
Hope this year will zoom pass fast!!

This blog has been dead for quite a while.
Think I should start reviving it!
Stay tuned!

2011-08-15T23:50:00.001+08:00

原来你肯本不了解

Happy Half A Year still~

2011-07-13T00:17:00.001+08:00

And you are the one I love.

:)

Stone

2011-06-28T23:10:00.002+08:00

Have decided to label my post! Those posts with PART # are those of my recollections!
Just follow suit :)

PART 4

Okay! SO! I have become the Owens House Captain for the 29th batch Student Council.
As House Captain, I was directly admitted to the Cabinet Council. Not just so,
I was directly admitted into the Executive Committee(Exco). All theses positions sound really nice,
But great power comes with great responsibility. This journey isn't easy. Haha.

Coming to this point,
I will want to say that my LINE Group produce really good facilitators.
There are actually TWO House Capts coming from the same LG! This is a new epic stuff. Haha.
Me and Peixuan, the Bikila House Capt, are from the same LG. As for Pitsoon and Benedict, Rono's and Bannister's respectively, they are already the Family Heads.
See! How epic right? My LG broke the trend of house capt = family head. Not once. But twice. Hahahaha.
But the four of us quickly become good friends, due to our appointments.
However the guys are definitely closer, Me Pitsoon and Benedict.
The two of them eventually become my council buddies :)

2011-06-28T22:52:00.003+08:00

Today I was informed that there are actually people who read my blog!
This gives me the motivation to continue posting bout my JC life~ Haha.

PART 3

Okay as the story continues from the end of my LINE Camp as facilitator,
At that moment, the only thought in my mind was to become a House Councillor (for my testimonial) and to join JJ Basketball Team to fulfill my dream of playing for a College.
That thought was further strengthened when my class is being swapped to another house,
The greenish house - Owens.
Why say so?
During LINE Camp, there are four families,
Where the facilitators are mainly from the four respective houses in JJ - Bikila, Bannister, Rono and Owens.
I was the Black one, Bikila. And of cos! After going through the camp,
We feel more closely related to Bikila.
With the swap to another house,
I wasn't even expecting myself to get into a House Council already.
Cause I never even work with those people before! But I just give it a try, since there is nothing much to lose. Haha.

Hence, an ordinary guy, together with his class members, have decided to give Owens House Council a try without much expectation in their brains.
Some pre-election thinggy were carried out in the house and days just go on until one fine morning. The formation of the 29th Owens House Council.

Okay I need to emphasize this. At that point of time,
I REALLY NEVER EVER expect myself to go for the House Captain position,
As that position usually will go to the Family Head of the family during LINE Camp.
At that time, it was Deborah Lim. So I have always expected the House Capt to be her.
So on that morning, I was just standing there listening to the people selected.
And oh! I got selected! Together with Zaiwei, Prakash, JoonHow and Xiejing from my class.
People who I have indicated to work with. Haha.
Then Mr Thomas Tan, Owen House Master at then, announced the House Captain.
With my brain saying Deborah, the hearing of "Jason" had me dumbfounded.
My first response was a "HUH!". No kidding man. I huh-ed.
Without any knowledge about anybody in that house,
I become a House Captain. For a moment I thought it was a joke.
But true enough, I embarked on this long mind-straining yet fulfilling journey of being a House Captain....

2011-06-27T00:09:00.004+08:00

PART 2

Okay continuing from my previous post,

The formation of 09S09.
Getting to know the members of this class took me quite a while.
But having another 4 Commonwealthians in the class,
That process is not really tough.
Slowly as time goes by, this class provided me a great source of happiness for me.
Zaiwei the Chinaman, Jack the Jackass, Benjamin the silent mugger, An the Vietnam boi,
Prakash and Sanjay the noisy Sri Lankan and Bangla, Haziq the Horny Chinese-Malay,
Farhan the muscular blur malay boy, BangHao the miscellaneous boi, Joonhow the Random Soccer dude. Together with the Birdie Brothers, Albin and Jiameng. Yes. They are the 09S09 guys.
We are 4H2s but don't look like one. :)

Of cos. There are the girls also. Known as the 7 Fairies - Jolene, Khim Geok, Leehui, Sunmi, Xueping, Nuzrath, Sinlin and their Godmother - Xiejing. They all have something in common. The mugger group. HAHA! And with all these, 09S09 is formed.

Going through Orientation Camp,
It was to the LINE Camp. First time being a facilitator.
The intention is only to have fun and to join the House Council.
Entering Cabinet Council never once enter my mind during that moment.
I still remember as we are representing Bikila, we named ourselves as the Men in Black.
Fell sick during the camp,
But managed to pull through, though I know I didn't really do my job well as a facilitator.

2011-06-24T22:11:00.001+08:00

Don't let history repeats.
It is getting increasingly similar bits by bits.

2011-06-21T22:23:00.003+08:00

PART 1

As I have tweeted(yes I have a Twitter..),
I am going to make my blog into a memory gallery once again!
Now in Army, I really got this feeling that my brain is deteriorating.
Think think.. Think I should write down my life before I really forget. Haha!
My College life @ Jurong Junior College.
I gonna say, it is the greatest time of my life in these 19 years :)

With a L1R5 score of 9, I can basically go to many colleges, excluding the top 5 colleges.
AC, AJ, NYJ, SA. Many of these colleges are options that people with my score will consider.
Eventually, I have chosen Jurong Junior College(JJC), heeding my sister's advice of minimizing travelling time and after considering the school cultures. I would prefer a neighbourhood college to a prestigious college. :) Haha. And that's why I have decided to put on the brown, woody-like uniform.

Entering the school, met many familiar faces.
People from my secondary schools, but most are not my class,
Primary school friends are also there too! Mr Ong Zhen Yu and Ong Wei Jin are among them.
Eunice Yip, Jane Tan and more. It is basically a reunion for me. Haha.
Getting into the same OG with Zhen Yu made my admin days exceptionally fun.
We two are the only two who keep talking and talking non-stop. While others are all so quiet. Haha. Talk about subject combi, talk about our friends, about the girls in our OG group. He is even with one of the girls from our Admin OG. How epic right? Hahaha.
So basically that is how my JC life starts...

After choosing 4H2s PCME as my subject combi, all with the thought to get scholarship,
My best class ever, 09S09, is then formed, right before the Orientation Camp.....

2011-05-28T00:36:00.002+08:00

I just hope it is not going down slope.

I don't want it to leh.

I will block it!
Just roll over me and kill me if it is really going down slope ba

2011-05-27T19:18:00.000+08:00

Don't agree if you don't mean it.
Cause when you change,
The aftermath is unbearable

2011-05-22T01:46:00.002+08:00

I can't believe I came out with this quote on my own.
HAHA!

"Everyone gets to choose. At the very least, we get to choose to stay put, or to move on and become a better man"

So why we restrict ourselves when we can be better?

:)

2011-05-16T00:39:00.001+08:00

Happy 3rd Month~! :)

Successfully passed my own mental obstacle!
Haha.

Food hunt is fun okay!!
Bought many random stuff to eat.
Doughnut house sell really nice doughnuts. Haha!
And chicken rice balls are actually not very filling-.-
Haha!

Hope you have enjoyed yourself too!
And didn't get too too tired. :)

@>----

2011-05-11T21:46:00.002+08:00

It is not easy, and not right to change someone.
I don't really like people trying to change me,
Like how Christian preaches me(no offense!!)
So how can I even bring myself down to change someone!

I don't like seeing you in such a state.
Never ever ever never.
No no no.
I read your post.
And it is obvious.
The hope for things to get better.
But what can I do?

It is hard to change a mentality.
And a personality.
Especially if the change is from a third party.
I myself know it is hard to change.
But what can I do. Sigh.

2011-05-05T20:32:00.003+08:00

How I want to be loved?

I am a Pisces. I am a fish. I need water and oxygen to survive.
Random constant showing of care and concern, just like how water is always being produced for a fish to live on.
Being there at the right moment for me, just like how oxygen is around whenever I needed it to breathe.

Pisces requires affection to secure its fragile feeling.
We need to know that we are being valued, being treasured.
In other words, Pisces need to know that we are loved.
Have me feel secured by expressing it daily.
Just words is enough.
But please mean it when you say it.
Cause Pisces are extremely sensitive.
We read into almost everything you say.

I am a true Pisces.

Overall.
I can do a lot.
But I will also hope that
I am being appreciated
I am being remembered.

Please please please please.
Don't take me for granted.

2011-04-24T20:26:00.001+08:00

The more I listen,
The more I like my blog song.

It is for you~ :)

2011-04-22T23:29:00.002+08:00

Feel like a whiny kid,
Asking for attention all the time.

Sorry to make you feel irritated.

2011-04-20T20:00:00.003+08:00

It is a matter of mentality.
Let's not be too negative as negative stuff tend to repel things.
In physics, negative charge is always radiating outward.
In life also.
Imagine you are a smoker(smoking is negative right?),
You tend to repel friends away. Of cos you will attract those who smoke.
But is that really what you want?
Hence.
Let's not be too negative bout Life.

I was an emo-ist.
Pessimist, always look at things in the negative light.
But I've changed! Why?
Because I want to attract people.
This is mentioned in one of my blog posts.
And it works!
It is okay to have rainy days once in a while.
But I believe many people will still prefer to see the Sun most of the time :)

So let's not bear grudges for too long.
Life is too short to have regrets.
And regrets are often born from wasted time.
And all these wasted time are generated from the time and effort on things that don't deserve your attention for long.
Hence! We must learn to let go fast :)

Let's be positive.
Then we can attract you and me.

:)

2011-04-15T23:48:00.003+08:00

Been a while since I blogged!
I got 3 days off for this week!
My Commander is really a nice guy :)
Starting to adapt into my workplace already.
Hope everything will continue to be fine and smooth :)

But mahjong luck still not here yet.
Keep losing and losing.
Pain like don't know what!
Suay jiu shi suay lo.
Sigh...

HAPPY 2ND MONTH! :D
Thanks God for off day, allowing us to have a longer celebration.
It is so funny to see her freaking out whenever I wiped something on her clothes.
AH HAHAHA
Happy day :)

If I throw a ball at you,
It will never hit you. Hahaha

2011-04-07T20:49:00.005+08:00

M.O.O.D.Y
Aiya lousy night.
Got this lousy, moody, pissed off feeling.
Shall not elaborate why cause there is no point.

I am weird. I admit.
I don't really like to spill my feelings out.
But I really hope people will understand how and why I am feeling what I am feeling.
How possible right?
At least I believe people who are close enough to me can sense.
Example, my elder sister.
Too bad she is married and don't live with me anymore.
If you can reach that stage,
It will just means you know me really well.

I wanna be rich.
Since young I have been bothered by monetary problems.
I don't blame anyone for me being born in such an environment.
So I learn to live with it.
No money jiu no money lo.
But as you grow up,
You will realize and begin to feel this feeling.
Disdain.
You will be so unwilling to accept what you have.
Why are you always so restricted?
So I must become richer. How? I don't know.
But yes I will.

Should stop hoping for the impossible cause it will never happen.
It is like,
You can't grab the Moon and put it in your pocket anytime you like.
Cause Moon is just too far and too immense to be put into a pocket.

2011-04-04T19:01:00.001+08:00

Every day is a new start and new chance, Pisces.
Don't get upset or angry over past events.
Don't dwell on things you can't change.
Your whole life can turn around in a day, so start every morning with a positive outlook.
As you wash your face in the morning, think of it as a renewal.
Clean off the debris from yesterday while welcoming the freshness of a new day.

I hope I can do so

2011-03-30T23:32:00.003+08:00

I miss you

2011-03-30T15:44:00.004+08:00

Boredom can be scary.
See whether you can experience that.
Then you will get what I mean.
I can't explain much.
Haha.

While I am typing this,
SYF for Modern Dance is going on.
It wasn't a very smooth journey.
But hope pebble is doing fine!
Cause I do believe it will definitely not be her fault if anything goes wrong.
Nobody makes so many changes one lo.
Even in orientation, by doing so,
You will get shoot by everybody.
Shoot shoot shoot!
Okay hope this last hurdle can be crossed successfully.
Then everything will be better already! :)

Okay I took MC today.
Went to polyclinic to fix my freaking toe.
AND IT WORKS!
With the medication and creams to apply.
It works!
Hurting so much lesser now.
This is what I called, "consult doctor"
Not just disinfect and lousy bandage.
How will it even heal -.-
Tmr going back to camp.
OF COS! I hope my MC is longer. Hahaha.
But no luh. Gonna go back there yet again.
Going to work is always S.I.A.N. one.
I prefer going to school lo.
I think doing A level again may be even more interesting,
Though mind draining. Haha.

Have been really unlucky this start of the year.
Mahjong always lose like don't know what.
Only managed to win at certain occassions. Twice or thrice.
The rest is lose. Sometimes is lose like zzzz.
I keep spending unnecessary money also.
Lost vocation badge, bought again but found after it.
Got medicine, dropped it, broke, bought again.
Bought wrong beret and cannot refund.
Luckily they are not huge amount of money or it is on credit.
I think that is the lucky thing among the bad one.
Shall treat it as 破财挡灾. Everything can be better from now.
Other unlucky events:
1. Injure this toe. I deemed it as really unlucky and careless.
2. Getting stomach flu virus. Or developing this easily-aroused-anxiety which lead to stomach problem. It doesn't exist. I don't even know how it got develop. Used to be so adaptable and flexible one.
3. Family getting into some financial problems.
Sigh. Don't want recollect bout unlucky things already.

BUT ALL RIGHT!
I really really really really hope that all the unluckiness can stay in that paragraph and forever locked there.
Things please be better~! Smoother~! And more successful~!
Main thing is my health.
Let's get fit again shall we?
Yes we should.

2011-03-27T12:41:00.003+08:00

I kicked into an uneven pavement and now my toe there got a skin tore.
But I can't remove it.
I don't know how.
Less painful now.
But it becomes more disgusting.
I seriously and sincerely hope my toe is all right.
Cause it doesn't look likewise.

Tmr gonna see MO again.
No idea is I unlucky or what.
This year is not very smooth.
Sigh.
What to do? I can't control.

But at least I gained someone who love me.
Maybe my luck has all went there.
Then yes,
I won't mind having some misfortunes already. Haha.

It is the sense of maturity that determines the tenacity of your mentality.
I think I have to become more mature and accept the kind of life I am having now.
Always thought that I have some sense of maturity in me.
But I think I got to have more.
Only at such then I will be able to grow and mature.
That is what I have realized and reflected over the past few days.
Still got to grow.

:))

2011-03-21T22:11:00.002+08:00

I am such a homey boy.
I don't like changes.
Changes make me ill.
Like I am going to go my new unit tmr.
Need to stay in for one night.
Then stomach acting funny once again.
Not good.
It is not fear. Cause I don't feel scared.
Maybe more of worried? Anxiety etc.
Hope everything will run well.

Ya, will need time to adapt,
Hope can adapt fast,
If not gonna fall sick again.
Not good to be sick yeh~
Zzz.
Will miss my bed will miss you!
But I am still grateful that at least I am not in tekong,
Where I have minimal time and freedom for you.

Be grateful be grateful.
And I need to be less anxious/nervous/worried/bothered!

2011-03-19T00:35:00.002+08:00

F.A.T.E.
Hahahaha.
Was being told that it is so for almost the whole night.
Indeed it is.
What an encounter.
Of cos it must be fate.
What else would lead to such sudden meeting?
Ought to have a reason.
Maybe it is a pre-sign. Haha.

Today is my last day of BMT at Kranji Camp 3.
It was a long, mental struggling process.
But I survived eventually.
Even though I don't really integrate well into my Platoon(I don't really want to make myself high profile),
But I still manage to make a few friends there.
Esp Poh Zhi Chao. This Hwa Chong perfect scorer which i befriend with.
He is a really nice, refined guy. Damn smart too. Haha.
Got my posting.
Going to Selarang Camp.
Which is located at another side of Singapore, when compared to my house.
Very very far i got to say.
Heard is go there for training,
May get redeployed.
I hope I get to go somewhere nearer if that will to happen.
If not it will be very tiring for me..

Tonight is quite an encounter.
Okay firstly is the fateful meeting of pebble and my dad.
Secondly is me meeting her clique!
Was bombed with questions which are kinda expected~
You are more nervous than me,
Which I find it very amusing yet cute. Haha!
But ya.
I feel like I gained another 6 more sisters to take care of.
Omg man.
I think I really fated to be with girls. Haha

2011-03-15T23:25:00.000+08:00

Happy one month yo! :D

This is love,
I do believe~ :)
<3

2011-03-12T23:12:00.002+08:00

What if one day I suddenly perish, will you feel sad?
What if one day I suddenly disappear, will you feel regretful that you should have done/said something to me when I am still around?
What if one day I suddenly vanish, will you hope that you have loved me more?
What if one day I suddenly die, will you want to give up everything just to have me back?

We only live life once.
There is no replay button to press in Life.
With the world changing unprecedentedly, together with the Nature rampaging randomly.
Nobody really know what is going to happen the next day, the next minute, the next second.
Hence.
Cherish the people you love, give them your utmost most.

Once something is lost. It is lost.
There may or may not have a second chance.
Like the latest earthquake in Japan.
It just happened. And leave Japan in a great disarray.
I can't help to think how fragile human life can be.

We need to cherish.
We need to treasure.
We need to show our love.
We need to display our appreciation.
At least by doing so,
We help to make someone's day.
And also,
We know that we will not leave any regret.

I hope if I am really gone suddenly, you will feel sad, but not regretful that you have given me your very best.

2011-03-07T00:10:00.000+08:00

当一个男的真正喜欢你的时候，他会主动发信息或者打电话给你，因为他很想你。
他会在乎你的一举一动，因为他怕他随时会失去你。
他看到你心情不好，就会来安慰你，尽管你对他发脾气，他还是忍了。
他会对你说些他的秘密，甚至有些连他最好的朋友也不知道的秘密。
爱的最高境界是经得起平淡的流年。

I wish to be likewise

2011-03-06T23:20:00.002+08:00

I am a parasite.
I rely deeply on spiritual pillar to lean on.
I can easily break down and go into depression mode.
That's why.
I think I tend to be over relying.
I make a good thermometer.
That is just saying I am very sensitive.
Very sadly,
That is not a very nice thing to have.

Every moment with you is a a moment I treasure.
It used to just a lyrics.
But now it means what it implies.
I do. Esp now with minimal time to spend with you now..

Hope everything is fine for you.
Seriously do.
Today is a nice day.
Cause it is spent with you.
Hope you have enjoyed too.

:)

2011-03-06T01:35:00.000+08:00

Life is made up of different things.
Imagine them as dots, join them up.
It will form an unique picture.

Things always happen for a reason.
Let's just remember that.
And we will try to learn

2011-03-05T00:37:00.003+08:00

I can go university le :)
I believe you can go in also! Have faith!
:)

All right. My grade is said to be quite good.
I think so too i guess?
Altho I think I can do better.
But its okay.
I am happy enough that I am able to go uni and make my family proud.

Got friends who do better than me,
Feel so happy for them. Really happy.
But got friends who never do as well as me,
Feeling quite sad cause I know I cannot help them much.
Saying things now will also be quite pointless.
Just hope they can get over.
And they are still able to achieve what they wanna achieve.

Sometimes if things don't go your way,
It will be better to take a detour right?
Life got to carry on.
I mean, that is a hard fact that we can't deny.
If one route is blocked,
Let's take another route.
We make plans.
But sometimes plans do fail.
So we just got to make ourselves stronger.

Shit stuff right?
But yea. This is life.

Thank you for being there.
Being there to be a reason for me.
For me to make myself stronger.
:)

2011-03-03T07:14:00.002+08:00

I woke up. Vomited yet again.
I feel so weak. Like an utter failure.
Ever since I went into army,
Everything seemed to be going down.
My stomach. It feels like a crap.

Is it anxiety or what? I don't know.
Feel so disappointed with myself.
Ya nobody really love army. At least not me.
But is that why I am like that?
I don't know.

I don't know what to do.
How to make myself feel better.
Always sick.
I hate myself for being so weak.
But I really don't know what to do.

Don't angry with me la..
I also feel like crying for being so useless.

:(

2011-03-02T21:05:00.002+08:00

人生快乐的20个秘诀：

保持微笑；要有目标和追求；
分享别人喜悦；乐于助人；
保持童心；学会与人愉快相处；
保持幽默感；处乱不惊；
学会宽恕他人；常和别人合作，从中获得乐趣；
有知心朋友；保持自信心；
尊重弱者；具备胆识和勇气；
不要太好色；别人说话注意听；
常思问题；多交朋友；
多旅游；不要财迷。

微博provides quite many meaningful posts.
That's why there are quite a number of chinese posts nowadays.
Haha.
The above one is quite cool.
Maybe u can try using it as a checklist.
And you will see whether you are leading a happy life.
Sorry~! Only got chinese people who can read chinese. Haha

2011-02-26T21:47:00.002+08:00

聊天→是增进感情。
约会→是多一点共同的回忆。
吵架→是多认识对方，并且学会和好。
承诺→是证明这段感情要经得起考验。
痛苦→是绝对在乎的表现。
珍惜→是因为怕失去，所以呵护着，视之为奇遇。
思念→是因为心里常常有着你，这就是爱的魔力。
挂心→是因为很爱很爱，心跟着心爱的人跑。

<3

2011-02-24T21:57:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday to myself! :D

I am nineteen this year!
Last year for teenage.
So fast~
Been through quite many things.
Just wanna find a peaceful life now~
Haha!

Stomach flu is no joke.
First time I got so many days MC.
I just hope I can recover quickly.

<3 Pebble :)
I got a birthday song!
Haha

2011-02-23T10:38:00.000+08:00

Tmr marks the 19th year I have been alive.
But why you like don't remember...

Maybe celebrated.
That's why.
Ok lor..

2011-02-22T22:53:00.002+08:00

喜欢上一个人很容易。
但要找到有一个喜欢你的人很不简单。

时机来的时候就应该把握。
别等到失去机会后才后悔。

我的甜言蜜语是否有效呢？

2011-02-19T08:18:00.002+08:00

慢慢才知道,太在乎别人了往往会伤害自己；
慢慢才知道,对自己好的人会随着时间流逝越来越少；
慢慢才知道,很多东西是可遇而不可求的,很多东西只能拥有一次；
慢慢才知道,真心对一个人好不一定有回报,而你忽略的人往往可能最重视你；
慢慢才知道,现实如此的无奈；

自己长大了。

2011-02-19T00:06:00.003+08:00

Currently going into emo mode while typing this.
Not because I am sad.
But reflecting about what has happened in your Life.
Trust me, you can't help it but to feel abit low.

Been quite a while since I really post a long long post.
Cause there isn't much there for me to post.
I have been using this blog for so so long.
That it seemed to grow with me.

The format of posting changed.
The things that are posted also changed.
The blog link changed once.
The blogskin changed a few times either.
The blog song always change quite frequently.
Basically. Over the time.
Many things changed.
Change is the only constant in Life.
Cliche right? But hard fact la huh.

But frankly speaking,
When you get older,
You tend to hope to anticipate less change.
Sometimes some things will be better if there is no change to it.
Frequent changes make people feel tired.
Where is the tiredness from?
From the change of feelings you got to deal with.
From the adaptability skills that you need to develop to deal with the change.
It is not easy to develop.
Maybe for some people it is easy.
But for me it is difficult.

So ya.
Stagnant water breeds mosquitoes,
Stagnant life breeds boredom too.
But rapid changing water breeds tsunami,
Rapid changing life breeds lethargic.

Everything is about balance but balance is hard to find.
Just gain a proper mindset and everything will be fine.

2011-02-18T23:52:00.000+08:00

1 + 1 = 2.

I like the number 2.

Although you like the "I am Number 4"
Too bad~
;P

2011-02-16T15:28:00.002+08:00

"【太看重感情的人都这样】
1.总有一种被忽视的感觉；
2.偶尔会有种想消失的念头；
3.不喜欢等待，却总是等待；
4.总会把事情想得很长久；
5.心事放在心底，有一个自己的世界；
6.不喜欢一个人逛街；
7.一点点事就胡思乱想；
8.自己走路会很快；
9.莫名地孤单，无法抗拒的恐惧感。

你都有哪些呢？"

Ans: 我都有。

2011-02-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

Because it is Tuesday the 15th.
15th Feb! :)

I have made many wrong steps.
I hope this is a correct one.

:)

2011-02-14T23:45:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day! :D

Why so many people like to eat Crystal Jade!
And so much noodle that I can't finish!
Feel bad to waste food~

I hope you like the xiaolongbao!
Together with the white doggy!

Thankyou for the specially made card!

Thankyou for spending the day with me~
And thankyou for being you.

:)

2011-02-14T01:12:00.003+08:00

Today I've gotten a surprise!!
First time in my Life that there are people who surprised me at my house!
AH~ So sweet~
Hahaha!

Ok I kinda suspected it beforehand.
But even without the surprise element,
The happy element is there!
Maximum level. Haha!

Tho it is really still quite early,
But this birthday celebration should be one of the most memorable one.
I had two surprises last year.
But I think this one is the sweetest still:)

One is fruit.
One is pebble.
But to me,
They are both very precious.

:)))))))))))))))))

2011-02-11T23:03:00.002+08:00

做错了吧。

一步错，造成了千古恨。

空虚。
烦乱。
纳闷。
错乱。

还有一个，
请别出现。
后悔。

2011-02-11T22:40:00.003+08:00

Hi.
My name is Jason Ong.
I am a good public speaker.
Whereby I am able to hold a mic and talk to hundred of people.

But I realized I am quite bad.
At talking one-to-one.

If you ask me which one is more important.
I will choose the latter one.

2011-02-09T00:58:00.001+08:00

Am I doing the right thing?
Why is everything opposing me.

Sigh.

I am getting this lethargic feeling yet again.
Sick of being alone.
Yet I have to be.
Right?

2011-02-07T01:32:00.003+08:00

Yes I am falling.
I don't know why.
I don't know how.
But yes I know I am falling.

Cause I get easily jealous and
Am now suffering from the no-reply-will-feel-uneasy illness.

Do you even notice?

I miss I miss I miss

2011-02-03T23:22:00.003+08:00

Jeez.
Can't believe I am actually feel frustrated due to a rejection.
I do have a bad temper afterall.
Haha.

Bottomline.
I have over rated myself.
Let's just get back to default.

2011-02-02T23:31:00.002+08:00

Wooo~!!
Orientation 2011 is over~!
I went back to help out for the all three days okay!
I am a nice senior! :) HAHA!!
Wooo~!!

Fun is fun. Nice is nice.
But nothing really special happen.
Except for the dance at JJ Night!
Feel so noob can.
To be dancing with a dance attache.
I can dance one lo.
With practice I can be better.
Haha!

Overall,
Be it what comments they got.
I think my juniors should be proud of themselves.
Cause they have conquered their biggest project in their entire JC life.
Congratulation! :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I shouldn't be falling, should I?
Starting to miss.
Starting to feel uneasy when there is no reply.
Starting to think and imagine.
Starting to over-care and concern.
Starting to feel exceptionally worried.
Starting to fall.
Happy or worried leh..

2011-02-01T22:08:00.002+08:00

Blogging on the bus.
This is a first time.
JJ Night.
I think I have been really dao.
But I am sorry.
I have no choice.
I have to get over you.
Falling back to the same state will do us no good.
You have moved on. I need to do so.

And how funny that the 'you' is not just one single target.
I am leaving memories everywhere.

2011-01-31T01:21:00.002+08:00

I know I shouldn't hold on to it;
I know I won't experience it again;
I know I mustn't pester and irritates;
I know I don't deserve to be given another chance;
But.

I just can't let it go;

2011-01-30T02:22:00.003+08:00

Everybody's laughing in my mind
Do you do what you did when you did with me,
Did you forget all the plans that you made with me
Cause baby I didn't

That should be me holding your hand
That should be me making you laugh
That should be me this is so sad
That should be me that should be me
That should be me feeling your kiss
That should be me buying you gifts
This is so wrong
I can't go on
'Till you believe that
That should be me

2011-01-29T09:41:00.003+08:00

Many ppl dislike Justin Bieber.
Thinking he is gay, he is disgusting, he is like a girl blah blah blah.
I think they are just plain jealous.
He is young but he got talent and is earning big bucks.
While people who like to criticize him are doing mundane stuff in theirs lives, earning hard-earned money and saving them with care and concern.
See. They are just plain jealous.
Some people are just so short sighted.
Putting in layman term, they should have a degree of 5000.

From here we see.
Why should we care so much bout people's criticism?
Let me clarify.
Critiscism is not equal to feedback.
To me they are different.
If it is feedback, we should gladly accept it as it is meant to be helpful.
Criticism is not likewise. It is the other way round.
Anger words of people due to their own jealousy and childishness.

Everyone has some degree of childishness in them.
Want to be mature?
Just try not to be too childish.
Don't be too mature too.
Cause anything excessive is never good

2011-01-24T02:42:00.003+08:00

Cant help it but to feel envious and a slight tingle of jealousy,
To see people able to find their partners and rely on one another.
They are two lucky souls.
Many have close friends too, not just/may not have a partner.
They are lucky too.
Now,
With ppl getting more and more busy,
I started to wonder.

Why am I so unlucky?

PS. Sometimes I just wonder. Who will really understand

2011-01-24T01:42:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday Jolene Yiplene Good Friend!
Damn long la her name.
But she in real life quite short=x HAHA!
Happy nineteen~

Okay I think my blog is becoming like a dedication place for people.
Yet another post to dedicate to someone.
WHO?
SAMANTHA PAY! Hahaha.

Pay Xing'er Samantha.
How much more special can someone's name get?!
Not much. Haha!
To many she is Sam,
But I refuse to call her that. So guy-ish and common!
That's why she is also known as the following:
Salamander, SPXE, X, Happy Fruit and D. Disciple!
I not sure whether I got left out any=x Haha!

This January baby always has her birthday really early in the year.
That's why she is able to be the same age as me for more than a month.
However, with her being 18 now,
She doesn't really act like one.
Hyperactive: Jump shout scream and laugh in front of anybody at anywhere
Hyperventilating: Able to rant and talk in an agitated manner for nearly 30 seconds before taking deeeeep breaths.
Hyper-optimising: Able to see things in a bright manner, hence explained the origin of her nickname as stated above.
Hyper-positive: Able to absorb all my emo-ish and turning them into something positive.
She is just like a kid who you can also depend on when you need to. Haha.

Have known her for 3 years I think.
Don't know how on earth we become to what we are together.
We are closer than friends but never are lovers.
Have that relationship before?
So complicatedly complicated but actually it is just plain simple.

We are super close friends.
Haha!

2011-01-23T01:43:00.000+08:00

It is a fortune to be able to find a soulmate.
Yet there is no need to rush.
But like all human,
Me got feeling too.

Seeing others feeling so sweet,
I can't help but to feel envious..
Hahaha.

Life ba.
Nothing is perfect.

2011-01-20T18:57:00.004+08:00

Okay Irene asked me to dedicate a post for her on my blog,
And thus why I am here! Haha.
Actually I was just looking for a topic to write about for my blog,
And this young lady here volunteered herself to be one.
Epic leh? Haha.

She is a very bubbly girl.
Have a very unique voice,
Bright smile.
Pretty got it's meaning right when it is used on her.
And she is quite a good dancer too.
Know her more in Council,
But first seen her in Admin Day.
A quiet Westwoodland. Haha.
Good at drawing and dancing,
But rather fragile too! So do take care
Shared the same chem and math teacher as me.
Even made me walked a distance at night to lend her chemistry notes.
Haha!

Basically that is mostly what I know bout her la.
No motive in this post! Just obliging to her request.
So please please don't misunderstand. <----Disclaimer. Haha!

PS: Irene Siah! Be honored ok! You are the first to get a dedicated blogpost from me, on my blog!!!! HAHA!

2011-01-18T01:13:00.001+08:00

I guess i should stop expecting to avoid getting disappointed;
I have overweighed myself
I don't weigh so much in others' world.

I enjoyed today's BBQ!
Tho I don't really merge in well but don't know why,
I still enjoy the company :)

2011-01-17T13:43:00.000+08:00

If I say I still like you,
What will you say?

2011-01-16T02:34:00.001+08:00

Thank you for caring.
But actually you don't really notice.

2011-01-16T01:34:00.002+08:00

Say what you need to say;

I think the logic is about the same as what is the principle of my Life.
"Live life without regret".

Ever feel regretful before?
That intense, huge overwhelming guilt feeling that consume your internal,
Making you so awfully awful, utterly distorted.
That is the consequence of regret.
I suffered once. That's why I never want to suffer again.
And that is how my way of life is formed.

But yet.
After doing after I think I need to do.
I still get this hollow feeling.
What is it?
I don't know. Yet to identify..

2011-01-15T01:45:00.003+08:00

Haunted by the past memories.
I think it is because of the regrets that are formed when everything ended.
But what else can I do?
What lost is lost,
You can't gain it back.

Learning how to let go is never an easy lesson to do.
This is one of the toughest.
Don't ask me why so.
I am baffled too. Lost for reasons to convince even myself.

Maybe a longer time will help,
But meanwhile this period isn't very enjoyable to bear thru.
With nth left for me to grasp,
Why on earth I still hanging here, unable to move?

Don't give me a helping hand cause I may not grab it.
Just pull me through and I think that will be better.

2011-01-12T21:29:00.003+08:00

I hate the way I am still feeling towards...

Today I went back to JJ!
It is Open House.
Talked, chit chatted, played some basketball,
Shifted some tables and chairs,
And talk alot of rubbish.
I like this kind of Life. Haha.

The talking is all right.
But the rest has become too habitual already.
Overly.
How I still look out,
How I still bother,
How I still care.
How I still hope and wish everything will be all right for..

Zzzz.
This is taking too long to get over.

2011-01-11T22:35:00.001+08:00

I think I should post something.
Why?
Cause it is 11/1/11! Hahha
Make a wish
*Wish*

2011-01-10T00:24:00.000+08:00

SMILE AND INVITE THE WORLD! :D

Don't be sad. Don't be despair.
Cause people don't care!

SO! BE HAPPY LO! :D

2011-01-03T21:06:00.002+08:00

Yes I want people to see this.
But those people I want them to see,
They won't be seeing this.
Yet, this is the only place I can say it out.
Meaning. The intended targets are not seeing this.

I mean no harm.
However, I think my actions are frightening people off.
I think I am.
I mean no harm.
Just hope to chit chat. Talk.
Well. I think that is too much to hope for right?
Yes I think it is.

Can't believe I am actually feeling tingle of sadness when I am typing this.
I just don't like the feeling of losing friends.
But maybe I should really.
Just let it go.
Let everything go.
Stop pinning hope on everything and anything.
Cause people don't really care, do they?
They don't. That's why when they decided to turn and walk away,
They don't feel anything. They won't hesitate.
People who care? Of course they are hurt.
Hurt, lonely, abandoned, isolated.
Ditched.
Yes we do. But they don't care.

Accept the fact.

2011-01-03T00:35:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it only takes one song,
To say all of your feelings.

2011-01-01T12:31:00.001+08:00

BRAND NEW YEAR! :D
Let's post something.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
HAPPY 2011!
HAPPY FUTURE!
HAPPY ME AND YOU!
:D :D :D

2010-12-28T23:40:00.001+08:00

Cause this is once in a lifetime~
Well many things are I realized.

Come to think of it.
There are many things whereby I only get to do it once.
Just once in Life.
Cause there isn't any opportunity to do it again.

So. ya. Cherish:)

2010-12-27T15:27:00.001+08:00

It is time to move forward.
The shattered fragments are found at a private area,
Where only a few trusted one are being gained access to.

You know who you are~

2010-12-23T23:20:00.001+08:00

I don't understand Tron!!!!!
Why is that ISO lady able to change the world?
What is the definite link between real world and virtual world, the Grid?
No idea!!

Kan dao blur blur leh~
But got to admit the visual effects are cool la.
So many neon lights.
Hahahaha.

And yea la!
Luckily never watch 3D. :D

2010-12-21T23:18:00.004+08:00

And so I realized!

Now.
It is time to live again.
:DDDD

Sorry but bye~
I am outta here.
Great loss. ;D
Hahaha

AND I CATCH A GRENAAAAAAADE FOR U.
Throw it and BOOM! Die.

2010-12-21T01:26:00.002+08:00

So bored at home that I suddenly hope I will have some homework to do.
=x I think I will be cursed by many J1s if I post that at Facebook.
Haha.

As time goes by you will realize,
This world, it is meant for you to stand alone.
Not true? Think again.
No one is there for you forever, for always.
Maybe your family. But let me ask,
How many ppl out there really appreciate your family?
You ain't even providing an "always" be there principle for your own family.
How you would expect they will do the same too?

Friends.
Such a board, general term.
They are bound to change in different phases of Life.
Best friends, good friends, acquaintances, hi-bye friends etc.
So many categories. What is what? How to classify?
There are many factors in Life where the criteria can be easily affected.
Best friends can become acquaintances all of a sudden.
Good friends can just be lost forever.

Learn to be alone.

Yea I was told bout that.
How true.
I am a social animal. I need friends.
But I think it is time to grow up.

Learn to be alone.

No grudge.
Hating someone waste energies, effort, time and Life.
No point.
Accept, embrace, change and improve.
Simple four words to sail through Life.
But words are always easier to say,
Actions are always tougher to achieve.

Back to a Pessimist I think I am.
ARGHH!! Can't help it.
It is in me?
No. I think I am clouded and blinded.

Not all hopes are lost,
Not all dreams are shattered.
Yay~ Optimistic yeaaaahhhh~~

BOOOOOO.

2010-12-18T01:00:00.003+08:00

Am late I think?
Nah I think it is all right.
Hence it will be not so obvious.

Well..
It will be different right?
It will be different if it is the same.
Paradox. Haha.
I miss.
I figured out.
The tears are actually a form of mourning of what potential things there will be.

Q: What is the point of holding on?
A: At least we are able to make more memories till the day apart.

But. 没了。

Love JEX still! And my bad friend. Haha.
At least there is still a reason to smile :)

2010-12-16T01:15:00.003+08:00

Today I watched a movie named Hello Stranger.
It is a Thai movie. Nice. A comedy and romance movie.
Throughout the movie, I realized smth.
I am still stagnant.
That spells troubles.
I need to let it go.

I can't believe that tears can swell in my eyes at certain parts of the movie.
It is catalyst-ed by the thoughts of the potential things that could have happened.
But still. I can't believe I reacted so hugely to it.

The movie's ending is not a happy one.
The male and female lead is not together.
But they do love each other. So will they eventually be together?
Who knows. Haha.
But yea.
They are not together.
And ya.

Similarity;

2010-12-12T23:29:00.002+08:00

Well I have been posting short posts.
Actually you don't really need many words to convey a message.
Sometimes with the smallest amount of words,
You can convey a very strong meaning.
I think it is just who is interpreting it, that's all.

2010 is at its last month alr!
Time for some evaluation! Year-end evaluation.
Hahaha. There will be alot to say i suppose?
But at this point of time,
I got to say that I feel like 30years old rather than 18years old.
Don't know why.
The mentality? The feelings? Or the body?

I don't feel like blogging much because I used to thought that blogs are meant for people to read.
So if there are not many people who read my blog,
What is the point of posting right?
Another point of view:
I don't update frequently,
That's why nobody come and read.
This is a chicken-n-egg theory. Which one first?
HAHA! I don't know.
But I will prefer to choose the first one.
Cause there ARE really not many people coming here right?
Wrong?
Change my view lo.

2010-12-11T01:35:00.003+08:00

Being at the Present and telling yourself that the Future has become a Past;
What a funny feeling.

Upholding the mental block to secure the wildest thought.
It is not a need. It has became a must.

2010-12-08T13:00:00.001+08:00

This is like consuming drug.
So hard to kick away.
So difficult to..

2010-11-30T00:09:00.001+08:00

女人心有如海底深..

2010-11-28T00:04:00.001+08:00

Love
Give
Take

Main thing. Trust :)

2010-11-26T00:32:00.004+08:00

I thought I can but actually I can't;

Just by thinking, I can feel the fear breeding.
How can I really deal with it if it happens, realistically?

Maybe, I am just not as strong as I thought I would be.
Why.

2010-11-25T00:57:00.001+08:00

Tell me
Why.

2010-11-22T09:10:00.003+08:00

I didn't know subconsciously, I am so afraid of losing you,
That I will dream of losing you,
And found myself waking up tearing.

2010-11-19T21:02:00.001+08:00

Why am I screwing up everything in my life?

I just hope to step out of this cycle of Mediocrity.

2010-11-17T15:29:00.002+08:00

A garden of flowers requires a fertile soil, constant supply of water, ample sunlight and some fertiliser to grow proper and nice.
Yet the most important thing is, flower requires the care and concern of the gardener in order to grow and blossom really beautifully.
Try linking it to Life.

I just like being abstract :)
Hahaha.

Thank you for your existence.
Kuai le liang ge yue!

2010-11-14T10:55:00.003+08:00

I am halfway through my most importance examination in life.
Frankly speaking.
I think I am screwing it up.

Sometimes I feel like giving up,
But I know I can't.
Yet I feel rather tired, exhausted, alone and abit of hopeless at time.
I need a spiritual pillar.

But I get this feeling that I am fighting this war alone.
Meant to be, I guess.

Forever & almost always-Kate Voegele with lyrics

2010-11-01T22:18:00.000+08:00

2010-10-25T23:59:00.002+08:00

If I need to wish for a chance to meet you,
I would have made a million wishes.

2010-10-19T22:26:00.001+08:00

After living for nearly 18 years and 8 months.
For the first time in my life,
I realized I hate being a guy.

2010-10-19T00:44:00.001+08:00

Hi.
I miss you.

2010-10-17T00:05:00.001+08:00

Kuai le yi ge yue! x)

2010-10-16T15:55:00.004+08:00

I like my phone's screensaver now.
It always make me smile to myself whenever I see it. Haha.

I like going to seaside. But I love going it with you.
I like playing Frisbee. But I love playing it with you.
I like taking long rides and stone. But I love having it with you.

It is still the same old verse,
Cause there are still hopes that I deeply wished for.
In life, there are always double meanings in many things.
That is just one of it. But the most meaningful one.

People always said it is a fortunate thing to find that special someone in your life.
I think fortunate is one thing.
Being able to keep it going is another.
Holding on, hanging on, keeping on.
Got it got it got it.

Hopefully my conjecture is right.
That like that, it will add up to something called "long long nine nine".
You got to be a chinese to understand that. Heh.
Thisishiddenbutifyousee,ijustwanttosaythatiloveyouso.

2010-10-11T21:58:00.002+08:00

I have posted quite a number of post that I have forgotten what I have posted before and never posted before.
I can write good compo but do not-a-not-as-good compre.
Why?

Compo requires a judgment, a stand, a perspective from you.
A non-biased, balance yet sensible essay which take no side in the perspective you take.
I am able to do so.
Arguing my way out is something I am okay at. So usually I am able to come out with an argument and talk about it, provided I got the inspiration too.

I can't excel in Compre because I can't really infer.
I realized I tend to infer the wrong stuff. Hence my answer never really hit the marking point.

Apply the above to Life.
It is kinda similar.
I can't really infer.
That's why sometimes I hope I am Edward Cullen.
I like his ability. Hahaha.
Being able to read ppl's mind.
Isn't it a good thing?
I will be able to know what you are thinking already..

Question mark question mark question mark.
An upsurge of feelings,
Leading to a great wave of disappointment.
Sometimes I deeply wonder..

2010-10-06T22:27:00.004+08:00

It is meant to be a surprise but why did it turn out to feel so funny?
It is not a positive feeling.

Be oblivious.
Or what.

God.
What on earth can I do?
What on earth have I done?

I think I should stop thinking like I can change the way things are.
Sometimes, something are just out of your reach.
Not everything happens in the fact you want it to be.
Rarely will it be..

2010-10-03T23:09:00.003+08:00

Is it human nature to compare?
I don't want to be a human.
I don't want to compare.
It will make you feel bad, feel lousy, feel sad.
Comparison isn't that good when you are the losing party.

Whatever machine will eventually will break down one day.
Irobot.
Sometimes when something is lost,
It is lost forever.

2010-10-02T22:27:00.002+08:00

No way, I’ve realized that I’ve been looking at you
It won’t do even if I hate it, stop it, or hide it
It can’t go on like this
I will confess that I’ve fallen for you
You’re everywhere in my dream
I know that it doesn’t make any sense but I love you

I like this sensation, you know how I feel even if we were to fight everyday
You always want it your way but I can accept anything from you, only you~
I’m lonely, my heart’s crazy for you and and you’re the only one I see~

When I’m with you, I don’t mind being nervous
I may be a little hasty, but you’re the only one who can tell me what to do~
I guess my heart was stolen before I knew it and I’m missing you all day long~

Everything’s so different, it’s too different~
I think I am falling in love, be my baby, be my baby~
From head to toe we have nothing in common
Now I wanna know more about you, be my baby, be my baby~

No way, I’ve realized that I’ve been looking at you
I’m happy whenever I say your name or look into your eyes
That will do and I want you too
Please say that we’re alike
Wherever I see, you are the only one in my eyes
I know that it doesn’t make any sense, but I love you

If you never realize,
The above italicized texts are the english lyrics of my latest blog song,
"Can't believe it" by Younha.
Isn't the song sweet? Hahaha

2010-09-26T20:53:00.002+08:00

World peace!
Finally=)
I nearly got freaked out last night..

I need to learn to feel more secured.
Now is baaaad.
What a side effect